


My Salvation

by MargaridaPereira24



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Canon Universe, F/M, Post-Season/Series 06
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 02:47:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20987552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MargaridaPereira24/pseuds/MargaridaPereira24
Summary: “Please let them be fine”. Them. He wasn’t just talking about Octavia and she knew that he wasn’t talking about her. She turned her back to him not being able to look at him. As much as it hurt and she as been denying it for a while she knew the truth. That their relationship had an expiration date and it was not because he didn’t love her, but he didn’t love her as much as she deserved and it wasn’t his fault, he had a reason for it and it was the same reason he was pushing her away. She wasn’t Clarke.





	My Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> Bellamy is in shock and Echo realizes that she can’t comfort him, only Clarke can. And Echo does what she thinks is right.  
I like Echo, I just don’t necessarily think Echo and Bellamy are right for each other. Both of them deserve more (in my opinion).

Blood… blood was all he could see… Octavia’s blood. After he spend a good hour shouting her name and hoping she would appear as easily as she disappeared into a green fog. Now he could only look at his hands, more precisely at the blood that stained his hands, HER blood. He could no longer shout, no longer cry. His throat burned, but he couldn’t really feel anything. He was pretty sure he was in shock based on everything he heard Clarke talk about it over the time they have known each other.

  
He was never one to pray. He could count the few times he actually prayed… there was the time the dropship was coming to the ground and he prayed for it to reach the ground intact, the time he prayed the 48 were alive (that Clarke was alive), that Octavia was okay during the 6 years after Praimfaya, that Clarke was alive after it happen or that in the worst case scenario she wouldn’t have suffered if she was really dead and the time he prayed to get her back after Josephine took over. Now he prayed that he could wake up from this nightmare and see his sister safe and sound.

  
Octavia was everything for him, she was his only family left… yeah he had skycrew but Octavia was different, she was the only person he couldn’t live without.

  
He felt a hand touch his shoulder and he shrugged it off. He knew it was Echo and he was harsh but he couldn’t bear be touched. He just wanted to be alone.

Okay if he was honest, he knew that there was one person that he would let touch him, hold him until the cold feeling went away and he could let out everything he was feeling. When he though that Octavia was the only person he couldn’t live without that was a lie, he couldn’t live without her too. She was also his family, and Madi too. Those three were the people he would sacrifice everything for.

He swore to Octavia when she was born that he wouldn’t let anything happen to her and thought of the same statement when he got Clarke back after she escaped from the Mont Whether and when he saw Madi and Clarke together and thought of the girl as his family as well, because if she was Clarke’s daughter he loved her instantly as his own child. He broke that promise with Clarke many times. Now he had failed Octavia too.

He started to shake and he realized he had started mumbling the same thing over and over again:  
\- Please let them be fine…

  
***

  
Echo knew Bellamy was confused (she was too) and going through something extremely painful but she couldn’t help feeling hurt by the way he just pushed her away. She was looking at the girl that caused this situation, Hope, that was still unconscious when she heard mumbling and realized it came from Bellamy. He was shaking and saying the same sentence over and over again.  
“Please let them be fine”. Them. He wasn’t just talking about Octavia and she knew that he wasn’t talking about her. She turned her back to him not being able to look at him. As much as it hurt and she as been denying it for a while she knew the truth. That their relationship had an expiration date and it was not because he didn’t love her, but he didn’t love her as much as she deserved and it wasn’t his fault, he had a reason for it and it was the same reason he was pushing her away. She wasn’t Clarke. He loved Clarke probably even since before Echo met him. She didn’t blame him, she loved him and she wanted to be happy. She didn’t blame Clarke either, she liked her, Clarke was now family too.

  
She turned to him once more. It was excruciating looking at him in so much pain and not being able to do anything to console him. She knew what she had to do and even though it hurt she knew she would eventually be fine. He deserved to be fine. They both did and she wasn’t going to be an obstacle to their happiness. she knew that she had to do something because neither Bellamy nor Clarke would admit it or act on their feelings because they wouldn’t hurt Echo but they were a part of her family and the thing that she wanted the most in the world was her family happy.

She looked at Gabriel that has close to her both next to Hope and in the opposite corned of the tend to Bellamy. She knew that he wouldn’t even hear the conversation she was about to start.  
\- Gabriel – he turned from looking at Bellamy to her – I have to go to Sanctum but I’ll be quick. Can you handle things here for a bit?  
\- Yeah of course. Don’t worry about it. – they glanced at Bellamy again – Will you be okay?  
\- Yeah, I just got to do something I should have a long time ago.  
\- You are going to get her, aren’t you? – he looked into her eyes  
\- Only she can console him. They deserve to be happy, at lest as happy as they can be in their situations. – it hurt a little bit to admit but at the same time it felt liberating, as if a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.  
\- I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to hurt you but they seem to need each other. They really have a connection, don’t they?  
\- Yes, they do. As much as I wish I didn’t have to admit it, they belong together and I love them. I just want them to be happy.  
\- That must be really hard to you. You are a really good person. I hope one day you find the right person for you.  
\- Yeah, I do too. But first I have to get them together. They won’t do anything by themselves.  
\- I think they don’t want to hurt you  
\- I know and I love them even more for it. I’ll be fast. See you in a bit.

She exited the tent and started walking the familiar path even though she only walked once or twice. Her Azgeda training would never be forgotten.

  
***

  
Dirt… All she saw was body bags, graves and subsequently dirt filling those graves. To Clarke, after all that she’s been through, especially after today, that’s what life is, a bunch of decisions that lead us all to the same fate. Some end up buried, some continuously float in space but one thing is the same, they are dead. Maybe that’s what life is, life is just prolonged suffering and everyone dies, most of the time way to young and in painful ways. So why even try? After today Clarke just wants her wait to end. She wants to stop seeing her mother’s eyes as she pulled the lever. She knows that that wasn’t Abby, but she can’t stop seeing her body being floated…by her.

  
Both her parents were floated and she was present both times. Hell, she was the one to pull the lever this time.

  
Clarke just keeps replaying every moment she spent with Abby and regretting not spending more time with her. That Madi didn’t spend more time with her. She lost one more member of her family. Now it’s just her and Madi. She knows that all of her friends are family, but it’s different, she just lost her mother.

  
She can’t lose anyone else. No, she won’t survive losing anyone else, she is powerless. So now Clarke is just lying in bed (Josephine’s bed) with Madi nearby sleeping in a couch. She was terrified of leaving her after what happen in the ship, when Shaidheda almost killed her, but after Madi fell asleep and after she watched her for a while, making sure she was okay, Clarke let herself grieve, the problem was that she didn’t know how. Clarke though that after losing so many people close to her, like Finn, Lexa and most of the 100, she was an expert at grieving. However, Clarke realized she never had time to grieve for any of them. Clarke spent her imprisonment crying and grieving for her dad, but she believed the ark was dying so she would meet him a short time after his demise, but fate had other plans and she was sent to the ground. When she was on the ground, she didn’t have the time or the luxury to grieve anyone she had to lead her people, so she didn’t grieve Lexa, Finn, Jasper or anyone else she lost. However now Clarke wasn’t leading or fighting. No, now Clarke was just watching her people and Sanctum residents lowering bodies to the ground. She just kept thinking that Abby and Jake deserved to have been buried. Jake had always dreamed of seeing the ground and Abby had loved it. She then thought of Kane and how he would also love being buried and not floated. The last thing Jake and Kane saw was space, the one thing they spend their lives hopping to leave behind. But with Abby was even worse, she just saw a room full of skeletons.  
She remembers the last hug she gave her mother, and the promise she made Clarke of not letting anything happen with Madi. Well, she kept her promise. Clarke feels something wet on her cheek and she realizes she’s crying. She thought she couldn’t cry anymore, she was wrong. She had spent hours crying. She had started crying pretty much as soon as Madi had felt asleep.

Clarke just keeps wishing Bellamy could hold her while she cried. She always felt better when he holds her. His hugs were some of her favorite things in the world. But she knows she can never have him in the way she dreams about. He has Echo, and he’s happy with her. She loves him so much but she also considers Echo family and neither one of them could ever hurt her, so she just enjoys his hugs and dreams of a future she could never have. He’s actually her other reason to live. Even though he will never be hers, she is his and she knows he would devastated if she died, even if they are just friends, he promised to protect her and she knows that if she were to die, even though it wouldn’t be his fault, he would never forgive himself and she can’t be another reason for him to beat himself him with guilt.

But then Clarke starts to panic. He’s been gone for so much time. That’s when she looks at the door of the room and catches Echo just arriving. Clarke instantly sits up.  
\- What happen to Bellamy? Where is he?- she asks starting to tremble all over her body.

In the short few seconds it takes Echo to respond Clarke starts to imagine her life without him. Without her rock, her soulmate. She feels her heartbeat accelerate and her breading becoming shallow. She knows that if Echo’s response is bad she will collapse.  
\- He needs you. – Clarke doesn’t wait for her to say anything, she jumps out of bead and puts on her boots and gets her back in record time and is out of the door before one of them has time to say another word.

***

  
After they left the palace Clarke, trembling and fearing the answer, finally manages to verbalize what she was mean to ever since she saw Echo at the door  
\- He-he’s he… - she can´t even finish her sentence. Thank God Echo understood what she meant.  
\- He’ alive don’t worry. - she looks torn, as if she’s afraid of how I’ll react to the rest of the information – it’s Octavia.

Clarke fells a chill run her entire body. She loves Octavia. Even though everything they’ve been through, when they were in Gabriel’s tent she felt she had her friend back. O was family. And she was everything to Bellamy, if she was-if she was dead she knew she needed to get to him before we did something stupid that would end his life and subsequently her own.  
\- Wh-What happened?

  
***

  
Echo had just finished explaining what happened and Clarke was so confused.  
\- How is that possible- Echo just looked at her with a look that said that she was just as confused – But why did you come get me? Don’t get me wrong I want to help, but he needed you there to keep an eye on him, to calm him down – even though it hurt Clarke knew someone needed to keep an eye on him and who better to calm him down than his girlfriend  
\- I left him with Gabriel. Besides...we both know he doesn’t need me – she gave an honest and a bit hurt look, but she also looked decided – He needs You.  
\- No, you’re his girlfriend – Clarke didn’t want to believe it, she didn’t want to believe it because it would hurt more that way.  
\- I know you don’t want to hurt me, Clarke. But I love you both and I also don’t want you to hurt. – I was about to protest, but she didn’t give me time. – I want you to be happy and it’s a lot more painful to see you both in pain when only you can comfort each other, and now that your both hurting and grieving you need each other more that ever.

I must have looked how I felt, torned because she added:  
\- Please if you guys don’t do it for yourselves, do it for me. I want you happy. You guys are a part of my family. And we all now the three of us deserve more. You guys deserve lo live your love and I deserve to find someone that loves me as much as I know Bellamy loves you and as much as you love him. I know you guys, as much as you both try to hide your feelings for each other for my sake, I’m not that blind. I’ve been blind so far but know I see your love and I can’t live with myself if I’m the reason you guys aren’t together.  
\- Echo…  
\- No, Clarke don’t feel bad it will just take a bit to get used to.- Clarke sees a tear roll out of Echo’s eye and immediately hugs her.  
\- I never meant to hurt you…  
\- I know.  
\- I love you.  
\- I love you too. – we kept hugging for a bit, but we were both in a hurry. – now lets go, someone needs you hug more than I do. – she gave me a small but honest smile that I returned.

  
***

  
When we reached the tent Bellamy was still in the same exact spot, still trembling with his back to the entrance of the tent. As soon as Gabriel saw Clarke he gave her a hopeful expression, even though it was still a little bit awkward between them because of all the Josephine story, Gabriel saw them both in a very vulnerable moment when they couldn’t hide the feeling they had towards one another. He knew only she could help.

Clarke could also see in Gabriel’s eyes he was hurting. He and O had gotten close, she didn’t know how close but she knew they were in the very least friends.  
But she barely had time to look at him. When they reached the tent Clarkes eyes immediately searched for Bellamy. And what she saw was one of the images that hurt more in her life. As much as seeing her dad and mother being floated. He was clearly in shock and she could see his hand covered on blood, from Echo’s explanation, it was Octavia’s.  
\- Bell? – her voice was tiny because it was hurting so much to see him this way

He turned around and as soon as he saw her they jumped into each other arms and Bellamy broke down and started crying. He was holding onto her for dear life, burring his head in her neck and she started running her hands through his hair.  
\- O…O is gone..  
\- I know, we’ll figure out what happened. -her own tears ran through her cheeks although quietly as she was trying to control them. He needed her.  
\- You’re here. You’re safe. – he said  
\- Of course I am, I’m always here for you.

  
***

  
Gabriel and Echo had left us alone and after maybe an hour Bellamy was calmer. They had moved to a bed and were kind of sitting and Clarke was still running her hands through his hair, and he had to admit it was calming him.  
\- How did you know? How did you get here? – he finally asked carefully not to push her away, he was just curious.  
\- Echo, actually.  
\- Yeah, I pushed her away. – he was clearly feeling guilty for being so cold to her when he pushed her away – She deserved more.  
\- The three of us deserve more.  
\- We- I can’t hurt her.  
\- She’s already hurt. She actually was the one that told me that we all deserve more and that if we didn’t do it for us, to do it for us.  
\- Yeah she deserves to be loved by someone with that entire soul…not with someone that is in love with another person.- he was clearly nervous when he said the last part  
\- Are you saying you love me? – she said carefully. She was still afraid this was a dream, but then she thought of her mother and O and she remember it wasn’t a dream.  
\- Yes- she was actually expected his little smirk and a playful remark but he was clearly to tired… so was she. They were both tired of losing people, of hiding how they felt. They spent to long apart and after being at death’s door so many times they both feared they wouldn’t be able to express their feelings. Bellamy had already felt that when he thought the primes had killed her. It was excruciating.  
\- I love you too.

But they didn’t kiss or anything. They stayed in the same spot with Clarke still playing with his hair. They were both still grieving and they needed to have a serious talk with Echo to make sure she and Bellamy were really over(even though she clearly imply it in her conversation with Clarke) and even after that they had to keep things private for a little bit for Echo and everyone else to get used to Bellamy and Echo being over for them to accept them together.

They had to do things the right way. And they also had to get O back.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work so it isn't exacly that good, but I've been thinking of how I think season 7 should happen. I love Bellamy, Clarke and Echo and I think as loving adults this is how Bellarke should happen. I don't intend to offend any Becho shippers, this is just based on na opinion, my opinion, I just belive the three of them desserve more. I believe Echo could find someone that could love her more than Bellamy loves her(in the romantic sense) and that Clarke and Bellamy should act on what I think is their feelings.  
I don't intend to spread hate, just love.


End file.
